Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane

Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says:

If someone works for me, I actually pay them

Do you know a good lawyer joke?

I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”

I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes

I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

Why do liberals refuse to define what a woman is and what does that mean for the future of feminism?

I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes

I can count

A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y

Why do siblings (or other close relatives) stop visiting each other as they grow older? Why does this happen with so many people nowadays?

I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”

I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t

I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP

Why did the massacre of al-Dawayima Palestinian residents not have the same reverberations as the Deir Yasin massacre?

I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones

I have a reading level above third grade

Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.

Am I the unique Gen Z if I dislike TikTok and prefer the 2000s technology trends like retro consoles, CRTs, and CD/DVDs?

I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity

I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t

I don’t watch or listen to advertising

Have you ever had a scary dream about a loved one or friend soon after their death?

I have complete contempt for fakery

I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”

I have complete contempt for traitorism

How do you help patients stop hearing voices?

I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet

I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.

I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

Has Great Britain ever been considered a "hyper-power" like the United States or Russia are currently considered? If not, why?

I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened

I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink

I took the same Oath and took it seriously

Is there any truth to the claim that Kamala Harris got where she is by sleeping around, or is that just typical conservative bigotry?

I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms

I see through liars

What should I do to get over a relationship?

I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight

It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter

authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday

What do feminists mean when they say they want to ‘normalize’ menstruation and its discussion?

I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write

I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”

I don’t buy bullshit

What are the defining characteristics of woke liberals and conservatives in the United States?

I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”

I understand how hurricane paths work

I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”

What are the similarities and differences between the policies of Democrats and Republicans currently?

When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability

I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”

I actually pay taxes

Should parents be allowed to bring children into R-rated movies? What are the potential consequences of doing so?

Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?

I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is

I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”

I have an acute aversion to scumbags

I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions

I know who the president of Turkey really is

I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup

I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”

I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

I don’t cotton to rapists

When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP

EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee

I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light

I can read